Hillary Clinton reminds me of my ex-girlfriend.
HRC: I went to the oppressors and told them "Cut it out!"
Press: Aren't you worried about hypocrisy? You're on the board of directors for Wal-Mart.
HRC: I fail to see how that's relevant.
Press: Well, just, you're quite literally in bed with the same thing you just claimed to be against. We can literally see him thrusting in and out of you right now.
HRC: I fail to see how that's relevant.
Press: Oh, for fuck's sake, couldn't you at least avoid signing that paperwork right now?
HRC: What paperwork?
Press: You are literally holding in your hand a new policy approving cutting Wal-Mart wages so low that most of the employees will need to go on welfare.
HRC: Get your shit together, poor people.
Press: This is effectively a subsidy for billionaires. It goes against everything you claim to stand for. You can't just talk about championing ideologies of morality while simultaneously blatantly debasing them.
HRC: Walmart. Employees. Get. Your. Shit. Together. I'm an intersectional feminist. Interview over!
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